I’m looking forward to giant opportunities that are tactfully revealing themselves to be risks cloaked in awesomeness. One opportunity is the role of a Store Ambassador for Lululemon Athletica—it’s an awesome company with a remarkable focus on building leaders in our community. But, Holy Cow, I am opening myself up to all sorts of risk.
A cool thing about being a Lululemon Athletica Store Ambassador? I’m a little bit famous.
A not-cool thing about being a Lululemon Athletica Store Ambassador? I’m a little bit famous.
One day this summer, I sat down with my friend Kim who works at the Country Club Plaza Lululemon store and looked through an entire gallery of pictures of myself. My official photo shoot courtesy of epagafoto and Allyson Cheney was really fun—my best friend Russell Clive was with me and we took adorable yoga-dog photos.
But sifting through the proofs was the worst.
So, you know that mental script that plays on repeat when you are confronted with a vulnerable situation? The one that is overly self-critical and automatically searches for reasons to judge and retreat into self-defeat? (Oh, that story?) It definitely played as the soundtrack to a meeting where I critiqued a million digital photos of myself. And chose three. To be ENLARGED. And hung on the walls of a store. On. The. Plaza.
The moment Kim opened her lap top, I heard the opening credits to the most popular story most women write about themselves: ‘Never perfect, but good try.’
I realized quickly that if I was going to make it through this meeting at Kaldi’s without having a minor breakdown, I had to write a new, risky ending to this story where I embraced vulnerability and ventured into confidence.
It was treacherous territory. I could start writing this story, but I couldn’t control the ending. I mean, these pictures would adorn the walls of Lululemon CCP for two whole years. How many shoppers will see a ridiculously HUGE picture of me and judge, critique, compare and shame? How many will people will think: “Who’s that girl?! She doesn’t look like a yoga model, she’s not that special, and those aren’t even impressive yoga poses”? Probably a few. For sure, more than I care to listen to.
Because guess what? I decided that I’m going to risk it. I’m going to risk being vulnerable, risk being criticized, risk being the trigger for someone else’s insecurities. I’m going to risk being uncomfortable and use all the lessons that yoga has taught me about compassion to bring back into focus what is meaningful.
Do you have any ‘risks cloaked in awesomeness’ that you’ve been avoiding? What are your mental scripts, or habitual samskara’s, that play as a soundtrack to your difficult moments? How has your practice of discernment and yoga helped you hear these scripts differently?
If you are feeling like you need more courage to Own Your Light and own your vulnerability, one of the best things you can do is meditate on your Light. Please enjoy my Guided Meditation, “ ”
Practice this meditation every day for a week. It’s a surefire way to gain courage and confidence so you can re-write the endings to the stories you tell yourself.
Listen to more Guided Meditations here.