satya: self-care and self-talk.

When it comes to self-care, chugging organic juices and getting tons of physical activity is the easy part for me. What’s most challenging (and perhaps more important) is listening skillfully and responding honestly to my self-talk. More important than massages, pedicures and all the other self-care rituals I absolutely adore is the practice of satya: truthfulness, integrity and sincerity in my own internal narrative. 

(We started talking about satya, the second yama of the yoga philosophy, in the previous two posts: satya: say no to junk e-mail and so you don’t eat meat?)

Practicing satya means that I listen to my self-talk with honesty and a healthy does of skepticism. For example:

I can’t EVER seem to make it anywhere on time, it just takes me FOREVER to get out of the house and I ALWAYS feel so unorganized.” Um, False. What’s true is this: some mornings, I’m really distracted and I spend time putting away dishes instead of getting organized to leave the house.

or

“I’m ALWAYS SO TIRED and NEVER have enough energy to be a good dog mom or good boss or good wife.” Again, False. What’s true is this: some evenings I’m really tired because I’m lucky enough to have a job that is physically active and I already walked Russell Clive three miles that day.

or

I’m ALWAYS missing important texts and e-mails; the teachers who work for me probably all think I’m a slacker.”  Double False. What’s true is this: it’s good for me to have a “no-phone day” where I’m focused on being with my family and actually, no one hates working at Westport Yoga because our community is so welcoming and our yoga classes are amazing!

or

“I CAN’T afford that. There’s just no way. And I’m NEVER going to be able to.” Possibly true, but mostly false. Some things (i.e. a new Subaru Crosstrek and daily acupuncture sessions) are just way out of my budget. But purchases are always a choice; choosing how to spend resources can be empowering. Saying “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t” only plants seeds of frustration in my mind (and wallet).

or the last one, which is the kicker. And something I hear ALL. THE. TIME. (Not exaggerating.)

“I am SO BUSY, so overwhelmed, and I’m ALWAYS working… I just don’t have the time to do yoga or meditate.” False. Here’s what’s true: time is something I choose how to spend. And if I want to opt out of an activity because I don’t think it’s the best use of my time, then that is honest and a practice of satya. Opting out of an activity is different than lying to myself with, “I’m so busy; I can’t,” The true story is that I have the same minutes as everyone else in the day and I get to choose how to spend those minutes.

The practice of satya requires that I practice sincerity and honesty in how I talk to myself as a way of caring for myself mentally and emotionally. It asks me to listen to my self-talk with understanding and then respond with compassion as a way of self-care (remember the first yama: ahimsa.) It’s really important!

How do you practice satya in your self-talk? What limiting self-beliefs are you listening to that just aren’t true? How can you practice a self-care by listening with both understanding and skepticism?

“so, you don’t eat meat?”: satya and speaking truth.

I used to be shy about eating vegetarian when someone questioned me about it; I was so worried about making the other person feel ‘ok’ and ‘not-judged’ with my answer that I’d shrug it off and mumble something about “I just don’t eat meat. I never really liked it, even as a kid. Except, you know, my grandma’s fried chicken.” (Looking back, let’s be honest, I didn’t actually like the chicken, I just liked the fried and the mashed potatoes that came with it.)

But lately, I’ve discovered that curiosity, discussion, disagreement and dissent play vital roles in authentic living. So I’m more willing to speak truthfully and actually share my opinion and my reasoning for eating vegetarian.

Satya is the second of the ethical considerations (yamas) of Yoga Philosophy. (We talked about it last week, too. Read it here.) Practicing satya is standing in our own truth and aligning what we say, think and do. 

Eating vegetarian is one way that I embrace satya and practice ahimsa (non-harming and compassion to all living beings) which is the basis of my ethical and spiritual life. I’m actually totally and completely passionate about animal rights; and totally and completely obsessed with creating peace on Earth. And yet, when someone asked the question, “Oh, how come you don’t eat meat?” I felt scared to share my True Self and talk about what matters to me. But here’s the thing: NOT sharing actually made me feel disconnected and a little bit lonely, it made me feel insincere.

My favorite author and spiritual soul-sister Brene Brown writes about Satya and Integrity in the form of True Belonging in her newest book Braving the Wilderness.

She writes, “when we don’t risk standing on our own and speaking out… we perpetuate our own disconnection and loneliness. [However] when we are willing to risk venturing into the wilderness, and even become our own wilderness, we feel the deepest connection to our true self and to what matters the most.”

Satya, truthfulness and integrity, holds a newly appointed and important position in my life as I try to be authentic to myself and also to connect with people on a meaningful level. Satya now means holding honest conversations about things that matter to me and that reflect my deepest values, as opposed to glossing over these tough conversations.

How can Satya motivate you to live more authentically? Where in your life do your actions not align with your words and thoughts? How can you connect more deeply to your true self?

I’d love to hear your conversations…

-lisa

yes, we are kissing!

integrity and satya: so no to junk e-mail.

I get about 50 gazillon junk e-mails, promo mailings and annoying calls a week now that I own a small business, all of them trying to tell me how much I NEED to advertise with them or offer their product or sell their junk. The impetus to sell more and use CAPS! And promote THIS! And ADVERTISE with US! (for free, after I invest $172) is insatiable and it is WAY out of line with my integrity.

This icky, growly, stay-away-from-me-response bubbles up when I start listening to voices that promote scarcity and sagely explain why my worthiness depends on Facebook Ads and staying relevant on omniscient Instagram. No experience has led me more to refining my integrity and drawing boundaries to stay within my integrity than registering an LLC.

Satya is the second of the ethical considerations of the yoga philosophy. There are five ethical considerations given in the Yoga Sutras which guide our social and communal actions. These are called yamas and we examined the cornerstone, ahimsa (non-harming and compassion) in previous posts.

Satya is defined as Truthfulness and Integrity. It is the impetus for aligning our thoughts, words and actions so that we are effective and living with sincerity. It’s the opposite of living a false or shallow life where we say one thing… and then do another. I love what writer and researcher Brené Brown says about satya because she takes it one step further from just ‘telling the truth’ to ‘living our truth.’ She says that truth telling is integral to upholding integrity and that it also takes courage. She writes,

“Integrity is choosing courage over comfort, choosing what is right over what is fun, fast or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.”   

One of my values is living a life of simplicity and generosity. So when I am bombarded with messages telling me to DO MORE and BE MORE to BE MORE WORTHY, the pit of my stomach fills with molten hot revulsion. It’s difficult not to give in to messages and ideas that seem culturally customary; my boundaries are often affronted and I find myself fearful, but then I get on my yoga mat and meditate and my courage is bolstered.

I remember that choosing courage over comfort is part of living satya and that whenever I am in line with my highest Good, which is always Light and Love, then I’m living a meaningful life. And I just say “No, thanks” to every bogus e-mail that comes my way.

When are you living in integrity with your highest good? When do you find your words saying one thing and your actions saying the opposite? In contrast, when do you feel most aligned, truthful and sincere?

“By abiding in truthfulness, one’s words and actions are subservient to truth and thus whatever is said or done bears the fruit of sincerity.”

–Yoga Sutras II 36 (translation M. Stiles)