The people I love most in the world are perfection.
They always make mistakes and they apologize for their mistakes. They laugh loudly and forget appointments and show up late and smile sheepishly and snap at me when they are tired or hungry or bug-eyed overwhelmed. They are tall and they are short; they are a little overweight and a little underweight. They are sometimes frazzled and other times they are put together and impeccably dressed.
They sometimes call me at weird times of the day to rant their fears and unintelligible misunderstandings and they sometimes hug me deeply and with meaning at the exact moment when I feel unmoored and disconnected. They are unhealed and they are healing; they are working through profound emotional trauma and they are also ministers in their own right, gracing me and their families with wisdom and acceptance.
They are perfect and they are VERY VERY MESSY HUMAN BEINGS… and, because of all this messiness, I care deeply for their well-being.
Through years of emotional discernment and chasing joy and looking deeply for wonder and listening deeply through meditation, I’ve learned that even I belong in this category of humans. The category being: people who are messy and perfect and deserve to be loved into wholeness and loved at their essence.
Meditation taught me that to love someone doesn’t require them to be without flaws or to ignore the fullness of who they are; to love someone is simply to care deeply for their well-being.
When we love, we naturally incline toward nurture, acceptance, grace, forgiveness and actions that make space for wholeness to emerge. Maintaining and caring for well-being becomes the primary action and intention of the relationship.
I’ve witnessed powerful and profound effects within the hearts and lives of my meditation students when they use their meditation time to deliberately nurture their well-being. One student told me that in learning to meditate she uncovered her belief that she didn’t deserve health and well-being. Her meditation practice then became a deliberate time of remembering how to care for herself, how to remind herself that she was perfectly imperfect and worthy of love.
Here is the meditation I gave her; I hope it helps you remember which category of humans you belong to: the one that is perfect, in essence.
Learning to Love Your Essence Meditation: